It’s Prinsjesdag (Prince’s day) and this is what will happen (always)

The third Tuesday of September, a day of tradition in this tiny country of ours. It’s the Dutch State of the Union, the Netherlands speech from the throne and whatever they have for the annual-bored-to-death-by-boring-president speech in Germany and France. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s Prinsjesdag and every year it is the same.

So unless a nasty political discussion disturbs the day or King Willem-Alexander decided to pre-game for this year’s edition here’s what will go down today at Prinsjesdag, 17 September 2019

Maybe a beer afterwards:

The Dutch royal family drinking beers with Putin at the Sochi #olympics. Back when beers were still okay we guess…

Een foto die is geplaatst door DutchReview (@dutchreview) op

 1. The snitch tradition – No news today

“Ah Abuzer, don’t be such a negative nelly, surely there’s something interesting being presented today”

Every year a few weeks in advance all the fractions in the Dutch parliament get a USB-stick with all the governmental plans which ought to be presented at Prinsjesdag. And every year, you can set your clock to it, the plans are instantly leaked to the media. It’s not even a secret or outrage anymore, RTL television wins the ‘race for the plans’ every year and nobody is shocked in any way that this happens.

So all the plans are predictable as hell and already leaked to the press, what else is going on?

2. There’s gonna be a carriage and a ride

This is how it will be:

Willy and Max step aboard the golden carriage and… WAIT SOMETHING CHANGED… Instead of the regular golden carriage with the slavery pics on it and everything, this year the traditional ride from the North End palace to the Binnenhof will go with the glass carriage. Well, finally something is done about the golden carriage with all that slavery praising going on at it (wait what? It’s getting restored and it will take years of time and millions of taxpayer euro’s? Oh jeez)

This ride to the Binnenhof will be the highlight of the day for the regular folks out there.

3. The speech

So it’s finally happening. Our King, praised he be, will finally shower his people with all his wisdom. Surely what our King has to say has to be of some interest right? Well, this whole little sour piece would be less sour if the King would actually sit down and write down his own speech.

But sadly, not only speechwriters do that for him, the message is also dictated by the government so it will never ever be something original or insightfull (it’s called ministeriele verantwoordelijkheid – look up that Scrabble winner). Actually, I can already largely predict what will be said:

  1. The country is doing good on the economic front (which we are, purely moneymakingwise)
  2. We should be an open and tolerant nation and come together as one people (let in some refugees, but not that much. Vote for mildly conservative idiots like the VVD and not the open racists of the PVV)
  3. Trump is a lying idiot(it won’t be said, but writing it down made me happy for a second)

And you know it’s a shame, because in this day and age the country could actually benefit from hearing the thoughts of someone who has it all and won’t lose his job or such when speaking out his mind.

Ah well, maybe next year.

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